Morning Awakening
Dear Friends,
Someone jokingly has directed a comment to me that touches on a hurt that has never completely healed. Instantly I am thrown back to the memories of this perceived past injustice. I feel a glimmer of anger then a steely gray coldness sets in throughout my body. It intermingles with a soft sadness. My body feels heavy with the weight of these emotions. My mind is unsettled, distracted, and I am unable to be present to my work and my family throughout the remainder of the day. Although I can feel what is happening, somehow I am caught in a web unable to extricate myself. The following morning while driving to work, I take a short detour on a one-lane gravel road. I drive as slowly as possible with all the windows down. I drive past a forested area. Suddenly, something catches my eye and I stop. A short distance into the forest is a small pond overgrown with reeds. The forest floor is shaded, cool and dark, but here the light is able to penetrate through the trees and directly shine onto the small circular pond. The reeds are bent over with the morning dew and take on a bluish haze from the early light. Trees glisten with rainbow drops of color as the sun catches the moisture on leaves and pine needles. Flashes of orange flutter around me and I see hundreds of monarch butterflies circling, floating, and following each other in the fresh morning air. I focus on one butterfly as it comes to a rest and I watch the ‘breathing’ of its wings as it opens and closes and then remains open to the warmth of the sun’s rays. Crows are calling, birds are chirping. A nuthatch creeps up and down the bark of a nearby tree. Suddenly I do not see a forest of trees; I see the patterns of bark and the shapes formed by branches and knotholes on individual trees. I breathe deeply and stretch. I feel and listen to my own inner and outer body. I say a prayer of gratitude that I have been so fortunate to be a witness to all of this life. I stop praying, as I am surprised at incoming thoughts. I am not only an observer; I am an active participant in this life. I am part of the color, the movement, the scent and the sound. I am one with the symphony of this morning awakening. I am included in this life, not separate. I finish my prayer. I feel none of the steely anger and soft sadness that I had been carrying. I feel light and free. Life is simple once again.
With love, Diane Evans
